Are You in a Situationship?

In today’s dating world, the term “situationship” has become increasingly popular. But what exactly is a situationship, and how can you tell if you’re in one? Here are ten key signs and some advice on how to navigate this ambiguous relationship status.

What is a Situationship?

A situationship is a romantic relationship that lacks clear boundaries and commitment. It’s more than a casual fling but not quite a committed partnership. It often involves spending time together and sharing some level of emotional connection but without the clear expectations and stability of a traditional relationship.

10 Signs You’re in a Situationship

  1. Undefined Status: If you and your partner have not had a conversation about what you are and where you stand, you might be in a situationship. The lack of a clear label often leads to confusion and mixed signals.
  2. Irregular Communication: In a situationship, communication is often sporadic and inconsistent. You might go days without hearing from each other, and there’s no regular pattern of check-ins or updates.
  3. Lack of Commitment: One of the hallmarks of a situationship is the absence of commitment. Neither party is willing to fully invest in the relationship or make future plans together.
  4. Emotional Unavailability: If one or both of you are emotionally unavailable, it’s a sign you’re in a situationship. This can manifest as reluctance to share feelings, avoiding deep conversations, or being distant.
  5. Lack of Exclusivity: There is no agreement on exclusivity, leaving the door open for either person to date others. This lack of exclusivity often leads to feelings of insecurity and jealousy.
  6. Unclear Boundaries: Boundaries in a situationship are often blurred or non-existent. This can lead to misunderstandings and crossed lines, as there are no clear rules or expectations.
  7. Emotional Rollercoaster: Situationships are often marked by emotional highs and lows. The unpredictability of the relationship can lead to an emotional rollercoaster, where you feel great one moment and confused the next.
  8. No Long-term Plans: In a situationship, there is usually no discussion of the future. Conversations about long-term plans, moving in together, or even simple future events are avoided or brushed off.
  9. Inconsistent Behavior: Your partner’s behavior towards you is inconsistent. They might be very affectionate and attentive one day, and distant or unresponsive the next.
  10. Relationship Red Flags: Multiple red flags often indicate a situationship. These can include dishonesty, lack of accountability, or frequent cancellations of plans.

If you recognize these signs in your relationship, you might be wondering how to navigate a situationship. Here are some steps to help you gain clarity and make informed decisions about your relationship.

  1. Communicate: Have an open and honest conversation about your feelings and expectations. It’s important to express what you want from the relationship and listen to your partner’s perspective as well.
  2. Set Boundaries: Clearly define your boundaries and respect each other’s limits. Establishing boundaries can help create a sense of stability and mutual respect in the relationship.
  3. Evaluate: Take a step back and evaluate whether this relationship is fulfilling your needs. Consider if the situationship is causing you more stress than joy, and whether it aligns with your long-term goals.
  4. Decide: Based on your evaluation, make a decision about the future of the relationship. This might mean working towards a more defined relationship or deciding to part ways if your needs are not being met.
  5. Seek Support: If you find it difficult to navigate the situationship on your own, seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. They can provide valuable insights and help you gain perspective.

How to Get Support

Navigating a situationship can be challenging, especially if you feel emotionally invested. Here are some ways to get support:

  • Talk to Friends and Family: Sometimes, an outside perspective can offer clarity. Share your experiences with trusted friends or family members who can provide support and advice.
  • Therapy or Counseling: A licensed therapist or counselor can help you explore your feelings, set boundaries, and make informed decisions about your relationship. Therapy provides a safe space to discuss your concerns without judgment.
  • Support Groups: Look for support groups or online communities where you can connect with others who have experienced similar situations. These groups can offer empathy, advice, and a sense of belonging.
  • Self-Care: Take time for self-care and reflection. Engage in activities that make you happy and help you relax. Self-care can boost your emotional resilience and give you the strength to make difficult decisions.
  • Educational Resources: Read books, articles, or listen to podcasts about relationships and emotional health. Educating yourself can provide new insights and strategies for navigating your situationship.


Situationships can be confusing and emotionally draining, but recognizing the signs and taking proactive steps can help you navigate this gray area of dating. Whether you decide to work through it or move on, clarity and communication are key.

Understanding and addressing the dynamics of a situationship can save you from unnecessary heartache and help you find a more fulfilling and committed relationship. If you’re looking for personalized advice and guidance, consider scheduling a consultation with a matchmaker and dating strategist, Cat Cantrill. She can help you navigate your relationship challenges and find the clarity you need to move forward. Visit our consultation page to learn more.

By being aware of the signs and taking steps to address the situation, you can find the clarity you need to either move forward in your relationship or move on to something more fulfilling. Situationships don’t have to leave you feeling stuck – with the right approach, you can navigate this ambiguous territory and find the relationship you truly desire.