“I’m sorry. You are a nice guy. But there’s no chemistry,” she said.
I tried not to freak out.
I thought she was, “The One.”
She was beautiful, in shape, no kids, divorced but not bitter.
A perfect ten.
She was everything I wanted in a woman.
And she was slipping away…
“Wait, wait… What does that mean?”
It felt like begging.
“You are a nice guy; we aren’t compatible.”
Static buzzed in my head.
I thought this relationship was THE ONE.
I sat awake in bed thinking about it.
“I hate to admit it, but I am very interested in you. What can I change?”
I felt like I was falling off a tall cliff.
Like everything was moving in slow motion.
I felt like a failure.
Like I wasn’t good enough.
I wanted to give up.
I made a low moan.
I felt like I got an F in LIFE.
She took pity on me, “Look, there is nothing you can do between you and me. We don’t go together. But I can give you a tip if you want to change.”
I wanted to vomit.
I heard myself say, “Sure, thanks.”
“Ok, so don’t take this the wrong way, but you have women all wrong. You think you know what women want, but you have no idea,” she said.
This sentence crushed me.
I worked out.
I dressed nice.
I had a nice car and a decent job.
I bought dinner.
I had to know. I didn’t want to go through this again.
She continued, “Guys are programmed for mating. Women are programmed for connection. Your mating bullshit might work when you are 22, but not with an adult woman.”
I had no idea what that meant.
I felt vulnerable and cold.
Like I was learning that everything I thought I knew was wrong.
“You must be attractive enough. But guys have it all wrong. We don’t want six packs and Lambos. We want someone who pays attention to us. We want someone who sees us. You need to learn how to do that. Until you do, no woman will put up with your bullshit.”
I was drowning.
I knew what she would do next, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I tried to speak, but I couldn’t even defend myself.
“Ok, ok… look. I am not supposed to do this, but let tell you something…”
The phone went dead.
I hoped she would change her mind.
I wanted to rekindle our relationship.
I waited for my fate, like a man in a tiny boat awash in a dark ocean.
“Google this, The Heart Agency.”
I didn’t want Google.
I didn’t want help.
I wanted her.
I liked the life I created in my head with her.
-Saturday afternoon parties followed by hot sex.
-Showing her off to my pals.
“Are you there?”
I snapped out of it.
“Yeah, sorry. The Heart Agency. Thanks.”
The pen next to my bed ran out of ink.
I scratched the words on the empty envelope.
She hung up, and I was alone again.
I tried to remember what she was saying about what I did wrong, but all I could remember was that I was wrong – again.
My best friend told me over a couple of beers at the local bar. “Dude, That chick is crazy. Women want abs and guys with money,” Jon said.
My last five dates didn’t last past the first few dates.
Did I have bad breath?
I knew there had to be more.
I was desperate. I needed real help.
I couldn’t fall in love again only to find out she wasn’t into me.
So I looked up the Heart Agency.
My last resort.
And I made an appointment to talk to Cat, the owner.
The next day I found myself on a Zoom call with Cat.
Her voice was soothing.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
I told her what happened with my last date and the ones before that.
I told her about my frustration with knowing what women want.
I wanted to find love, but I wasn’t sure what that meant, if was being honest.
I was sick of being alone. I was old enough to settle down but couldn’t find a woman.
I couldn’t get a third date.
I worried about ending up alone.
I didn’t want the guys to know.
I wanted my parents to be proud of me.
…To have a family, to get married.
I wanted what everyone wants, love and marriage.
She asked me, “And what happens on these dates? What do women say? Are you interested in them?”
I told her about the last one, the one I set up a dream life inside my head. I wanted to make a life with her.
“And what did she say?”
I told her.
I drew back a little.
“No. No. I am not laughing at you. I am laughing at mankind. She’s right; you have it all wrong. And when you unlock this one thing, everything will change for you.”
My heart was beating.
“What? What is it?”
“It’s the Compatibility Mystery.”
“Look, you don’t have to have abs. You must be engaging. Compassionate, empathic, kind, considerate, have a life and show up as though you care. You have to have a good image.”
“But Cat, I do that.”
“No, you don’t. Want to know how I know?”
I said, “Yes, please tell me.”
“Tell me one thing about her besides what she does for work, how often she works out, or her relationship status. One thing. Could be anything.”
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it.
I said, “It’s heartbreaking because I constructed a fantasy life with her in my head.”
“Tell me about the fantasy life you created in your mind. What did you do?”
“We would go out to eat. We would have sex.”
Cat said, “These are mating behaviors. These are natural for the male, so don’t feel bad. This is what you are programmed to do. Feed her, provide for her, and mate with her. But if you want a modern relationship, you must learn to do things differently.”
I wanted to learn. I wanted to give a woman what she wanted.
“A woman has to be protective. She can’t mate with every man and risk pregnancy. Her job is to be selective, to establish connections. She needs to know if she can be involved with you for years. You have to learn how to establish a connection. Or you will continue to fail. It’s as simple as that.”
Ok, this sounded like it was in line with what I was hearing from women. I couldn’t connect with women and get a third date.
“What do I have to do?”
Cat trains a handful of people monthly. She tailors a system for men who have trouble making connections.
“But I don’t help everyone. Most men have too much pride to ask for help. They are happy dropping a hammer on their toe the rest of their lives vs. making real change.”
I wondered if that was me.
“If I help you, you have to promise to what I tell you, even if it seems counterintuitive. Can you do that?”
I said yes.
She asked me, “What would it mean to you if you don’t fix this problem?”
“I would continue in misery. Unable to find someone who loves me.”
Seeing I needed help, she agreed to coach me.
We worked on decoding the male mating instincts vs. her desire for connection. She calls this the Instinctual Connection Method.
She showed me the difference between what I look like vs. what she wants in the Oscar Syndrome.
Cat showed me how to present myself online. She uses the ‘Adventure Time Dating Profile‘ rewrite.
She showed me how to break free of the Lust Code and how it fails after five years.
Cat showed me how the Coffee Gift could change your love life.
She showed me how to get an F in Chemistry and still get an A in Love.
Cat showed me the “The Provider Method.” It makes women trust you will be at her side for as long as she deserves it.
Cat showed me how to keep a woman from nagging me with the Attention Method. She also showed me what to do if it doesn’t work.
Cat showed me how being a gentleman adds value to everyone’s lives with the Gentle Bear Method.
And those are some of the things I learned from Cat and her team.
How does it work?
I should let her tell you.
But she doesn’t work for everyone. So I should tell you, in case you aren’t a good fit.
Cat has cheaper online workshops, local events, and a Live Dating Gameshow. Try those if you want to take it slow and are low on funds.
If you are ready to jump in and make a change, here’s how she works with men…
If you decide to work with her, you can book a 40 minute call or meet her in person. She can tell right away if she can help you.
Let’s face it; most guys want something for free or with little effort.
This is not that.
Cat offers a premium service, and it costs real money. If your car needs a new alternator, it costs money.
In the same way, if you need a new way to find love, it costs money.
If that’s scary to you, then do the lower-cost stuff first.
Want to know more?
She offers a few services:
Adventure Time Dating Profile rewrite
Instinctual Connection Method: Three months of dating coaching from the Heart Agency, Adventure Time Dating Profile included.
If you graduate from coaching, she considers candidates for her Matchmaking services.
Who this is NOT for:
If you are a knucklehead who is not capable of change, this is not for you.
If you are cheap and you want to change your life for $49, start with one of Cat’s workshops, DO NOT bother her with a phone call.
If you want a Russian male order bride, go order a mail order bride…
If you are certain that women want dudes with rock-hard abs and a giant pickup truck that sounds like a 747… this is not for you.
Still here? Click here, fill out the form below to get in touch with the matchmaker.